Monday, November 16, 2009


Person Needed to Develop iPhone app - $1 (DC area)
Reply Lugo, Raul CTR to sale-wewej-146.


Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping** More Info:

LMAO that is awesome!
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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Let me just say that I think it's a damn outrage that no one has responded to our Craigslist ad yet. Bullshit.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Self Proclamation

Seeing as its Wednesday already, I can finally break down and tell the tale on how I became ‘Employee of the Week’. No longer will I be a tease…

Here at my (god forsaken) company we’re judged on numbers – only. It doesn’t matter how polite you are or if you’re actually finding a program fit for your customers. We’re built on the foundation of selling people advertising that they cannot afford and they’ll probably see no return on their investment. In fact, a few of us have termed a phrase that we reference often, goes a little something like this “Nail their ass”. If you care to know what that means, its: sell them a big program, collect their 2 months up front, get the sale in your numbers, and then let our collection department worry about getting the money for the remaining 10 months.

Back to the numbers system. Hope you have your abacus available.

There are 3 different categories if you will, each paid commission differently and you have the ability to climb up the ranks (see: false promises set by management). I had the highest percentage in 2 of the 3 categories. I have brought back almost all of the billing that I started with, and increased the existing revenue like no other. Awesome. I get recognized for the work that I was doing and for the effort I actually exerted out of sheer boredom. My reward: a $10 gift card for Dunkin Donuts, which will cover my coffee for the week.


Here I stand, mid-week, just got out of a 1-on-1 with my boss discussing those fabulous numbers that were referenced before. Anyone see what’s missing? That magical third set of numbers – which is the new business, people we can get to join our overpriced society of deadbeat local businesses. Now, the focus is no longer on how I’m killing the other 2 brackets, but now is redirected to I’m not doing enough for the business. I find out that supposedly the 2 areas that I’m doing well in don’t matter in comparison for the third. If I expect to go places within this company, I have to step it up.

And to make matters worse, what really chaps my ass, a week’s worth of coffee from Dunkin is $10.15. Where the hell am I going to come up with the extra 15 cents that my company’s not covering? Talk about getting the short end of the stick.

The end.

If you didn't catch it on CNN this morning

stef: remember when we had our own language
jules: o m g
man we were smart
stef: i propose that we bring that back
jules: i lost my notebook though.
we'd have to make an iphone app or something
you know... really update and get with the times
stef: girl
that's genius
jules: i wonder how you make an app
i bet we could figure it out
stef: no doubt
or hire someone to make it
jules: psh
stef: pay them in sunflower seeds or something
jules: great idea
i'll let u find that willing person
stef: craigslist
i'll post an add
jules: but seriously, if we took the time to figure out how to build our own - like some bullshit language decoder
i bet we would be able to build other ones afterwards.
then i could retire at the ripe age of 22 and be a self made millionaire
stef: i'm 23
jules: and we could hire monkey butlers in tuxedos, hot guys to make us martinis and go on five guy runs
and most of all i could finally afford my fishtank wall
it's ok that you're 23 - i'll just sound better than you since i got to retire a year earlier.
stef: monkey butlers = amazing
jules: what are u talking about. the whole idea's fucking amazing.
Person Needed to Devlop iPhone app - $1 (DC area)
Date: 2009-11-11, 11:13AM ESTReply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]

My BFF and I need some assistance in developing an iPhone app for our secret language. Currently, we both speak english, however, in 4th grade we created a secret language that we would like to be able to use in our everyday adult lives and perhaps eventually acclimate into the rest of society. The iPhone app would ideally have a simple interface and include a dictionary with our words and translations. It would be cool if it had voice recognition (preferably translating our voices into autotuned voices of our new language) and perhaps fingerprint recognition (just because it's cool and seems official). We both work full time jobs, but slack off pretty regularly, so we would have time during the day to help with the details of the app.

Payment is negotiable, however, we were thinking you could be paid in sunflower seeds or something to that extent. If you don't like sunflower seeds don't even bother applying. If there is another type of seed you prefer, feel free to make a suggestion.

Location: DC area

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 1461106450

A simple equation

+ =

What. The. Fuck. Now I've heard sayings like "DC is like Hollywood for ugly people" but holy lord in heaven.
This disaster was rocking:
argyle tights
80s socks
a jean skirt
a fake patent leather snakeskin jacket
with a jean purse
oh, and lets not forget her heinous costume jewlery
what fucking planets swamp did you escape from, sweetheart?
itinerant (adjective)
\eye-TIN-uh-runt\ Hear it!
Definition: traveling from place to place

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Your turn


Main Entry: 1ab·er·rant
Pronunciation: \a-ˈber-ənt, ə-, -ˈbe-rənt; ˈa-bə-rənt, -ˌber-ənt, -ˌbe-rənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin aberrant-, aberrans, present participle of aberrare to go astray, from ab- + errare to wander, err
Date: circa 1780
1 : straying from the right or normal way
2 : deviating from the usual or natural type : atypical

Word of the Day

Your challenge: Take this word and use it appropriately, but in a hilarious way.

fungible; adjective
(Law) Freely exchangeable for or replaceable by another of like nature or kind in the satisfaction of an obligation.
jules: lets go to europe this summer
stef: haha ok
jules: i want to!
and you seem like the only one whod actually do it
and just like take trains and buses all over the place and do fucked up shit
stef: like steal barets of the heads of the french
jules: exactly!
stef: and sword fight with baguettes!
jules: eh, thats a little TOO touristy for me
how about buy illegal samari swords and sword fight?!?!
stef: ummm thats not very eurpoean
jules: o. right.

on important subjects

jules: got some fb creeper questions for u
stef: shoot
jules: mindy d* engaged or not
stef: well she's been with that guy forever
she did have her status as engaged for a long time
jules: i thought it used to say engaged
stef: and was talking about being engaged
but then they broke up
jules: im suchhhhh a creep
but now shes back in a relationship
stef: and when they got back together it just said in a relationship
sooo i don't know the status
jules: ur good for nothing.